e: When I travel, people often ask me why I live in the Philippines ? Well here it is.....
It is the only place on earth where......
1. Every street has a basketball court.
2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
3. Doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
5. School is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
9. Everything can be forged.
10. All kinds of animals are edible.
11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
18. People can pay to defy the law.
19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
27. Where insurance does not work.
28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
29. Clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
31. Where University of the Philippines where all the weird people go.
32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
34.. College of Saint Benilde is where all the &&&& Chinese go and;
35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
36. Fast food is a diet meal.
37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
38. Where being mugged is normal and It happens to everyone.
39. Rodents are normal house pets.
40. The definition of traffic is the 'non-movement' of vehicles.
41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements and;
42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
46. People can get away with stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.
47. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual (Grabe talaga 'to!)
48. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax)
- than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
49. And where everyone wants to leave the country!
FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:
1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
2. Anita Bakery
3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day & Night
4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
5. A bakery named Bread Pitt
6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
7. Then, there are Christopher Plumbing
8. A boutique called The Way We Wear
9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental
10. A restaurant in Cainta district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken
11. A local burger restaurant called Mang Donald's
12. A doughnut shop called MacDonuts
13. A shop selling 'lumpia' (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll
14. And two butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to
unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish'
(The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:
15. At a restaurant menu in Cebu ? We hab sopdrink in can an in batol?
[translation: We have soft drinks in can and in bottle].
16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids And Pises -
[translation: Beads and Pieces --or-- Bits and Pieces]
There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but
they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to 'correct' them like.......
17. In a restaurant in Baguio City , the 'summer capital' of the Philippines : ? Wanted: Boy Waitress?
18. On a highway in Pampanga: ?We Make Modern Antique Furniture?
19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan : ? We Shoot You While You Wait?
20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue in Manila :?Wanted:
Waiter, Cashier, Washier?. Some of the notices can even give a wrong impression such as:
21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: ? We Sell Imported
Robber Shoes? (these could be the 'sneakiest' sneakers);
22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: ?House For Rent, Fully Furnaced?
(it must really be hot inside)!
23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not
altogether odd.
City in southern Philippines which said: ?Adults: 1 peso; Child: 50
centavos; Cadavers: fare subject to negotiation? .
24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover two competing shops
selling hopia (a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Poland Hopia
- which are owned and operated by two local Chinese entrepreneurs,
Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!
25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient.?The
creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than
just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new
words, ?says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign .....
House Fersallarend' (house for sale or rent). Why use five words when two
will do?
26. According to Manila businessman, Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit
in the Philippines because?We are a country where a good sense
of humor is needed to survive?. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called
the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of
politicians and bad actors.
Now I ask you where else in the world would one want to live?
Tags: Sikat Tau
1. Why should I say "I can't" when the Bible says, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength". Phil 4:13.
2. Why should I lack when I know that God shall supply all my needs
according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil: 4: 19: -
3. Why should I fear when the Bible says God had not given me a spirit of
fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. 2 Tim 1: 7.
4. Why should I lack faith to fullfill my calling, knowing that God has
alloted to me a measure of faith. Rom 12:3.
5. Why should I be weak when the Bible says that the Lord is the strength
of my life and that I will display strength and take action because I know
God. Psalm 27:1, Danial 11: 32.
6. Why should I allow satan supermacy over my life when He that is in me is
greater than he that is in the world. 1John 4:4.
7. Why should I accept defeat when the Bible says that God always leads me
in the triumph. 2 Cor 2:14.
8. Why should I lack wisdom when Christ became wisdom to me from God and
God gives wisdom to me when I ask Him for it. 1 Cor 1: 30, James 1:5.
9. Why should I be discourage - depressed when I can recall to mind God's
loving kindness, compassion and faithfulness and have hope. Lam 3: 21-23.
10.. Why should I worry and fret when I can cast all my anxiety on Christ
who cares for me. 1 Peter 5:7.
11. Why should I even be in bondage knowing that there is liberty where the
Spirit of the Lord is. Gal 5:1.
12. Why should I feel alone when Jesus said He is with me always and He
will never leave me nor forsake me. Matt 2820, Heb 13:5.
13. Why should I feel condemned when the Bible says I am not condemned
because I am in Christ. Rom 8:1.
14. Why should I feel accursed or that Iam the victim of bad luck when the
Bible says that Christ redeemed me from the curse of the law that I might
receive His spirit. Gal 3: 13-14.
15. Why should I be discontented when I like Paul, can learn to be content
in all my circumstances. Phil 4:11.
16. Why should I feel worthless when Christ became sin on my behalf that I
might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Cor 5:21.
17. Why should I have a persecution complex knowing that nobody can be
against me when God is for me. Rom 8:31.
18. Why should I be confused when God is the author of peace and He gives
me knowledge through His indwelling Spirit. 1 Cor 14:33, 2:12.
19. Why should I feel like a failure when I am a conqueror in all things
through Christ. Rom 8:37.
20. Why should I let the pressures of life bother me when I can take
courage knowing that Jesus has overcome the world and its tribulations.
John 16:33.
Tags: 20 Cans Of Success
