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| Total Views: 4284 - Total Replies: 16 |
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| POSTED BY: UKFOX on 03/20/2008 04:20:32 |
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PINOY ADS
"Hump at your own risk "
-Urdaneta Village, Makati (circa 1961)
* Notice *
NO Stambay
Vendors
Carry firearms inside the club
-Cavite
FOR SALE
U.S. GALLONS
big...P6.00
small..P5.00
- Makati
IMPOTENCE DEMO
--shop selling a cure for impotence, in an alley near Shaw Blvd
SLOW MEN AT WORK
--PLDT sign
(so much for zero backlog)
"Welcome to the Philippines-
The Only Catholic Country in Asia!"
and directly underneath that sign:
BEWARE OF PICKPOCKETS
We Make Modern & Antique Furniture
-- sign in Pampanga
"Atty. Domino Carriedo"
Notary Public
Tumatanggap din ho ng labada tuwing Linggo -- a sign in Cebu
Petal Attraction
-- a flower shop near U.P. Diliman
Please help our comfort room clean.
--self-service restaurant in Cebu
Jeepney and Bus signs
"Before pay, tell where get the on before get the off."
"Full string to stop driver."
"God knows Hudas not pay."
"For reckless driving, call ###-#####"
"Don't close to me, close to God."
A Sign we found in a convent in Baguio
"2nd Floor Upstairs."
"Danger Wall is Falling!"
- a sign on a cracked lopsided wall along Libis, QC.
* Pansit ng taga-Malaboni - sign along Boni Avenue, Mandaluyong
* Cooking ng ina mo - a carinderia
* Cooking ng ina mo rin - right across from "Cooking ng ina_ mo"
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I Hope you will invite me as your friend..mabuhay!
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| POSTED BY: UKFOX on 03/20/2008 04:27:03 |
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Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.
TEACHER: Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at
Apolinario Mabini?
STUDENT: Ma'am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday!?
TITSER: Juan, use recharge & caffeine in a sentence.
JUAN: Si "Recharge" Gutierrez ay si "Caffeine" Barbell.
ERAP: Soli ko tong nabili kong DVD.
FPJ: Anong problema?
ERAP: Walang picture, tsaka sound. Sayang. Suspense thriller pa yata to. Tsk, tsk...
FPJ: Anong title?
ERAP: "The Lens Cleaner"
Teacher: jigs, ano susunod sa 7?
Jigs: 8 po!
Teacher: sa 2?
Jigs: 3 po!
Teacher: ang galing mo! sino nagturo sayo?
Jigs: tatay ko po!
Teacher: O sige, ano susunod sa 10?
Jigs: Jack po!
Bigo sa pag-ibig??
Maghanap na lng ng....
KUBA - mapagkumbaba
PILAY - di ka tatakbuhan
BULAG - la paki sa looks
PIPI - di nagbibitiw ng bad words.
at eto the best....
DULING - di ka hahayaan mag-isa!
Magkaibigan kumakain...
Pedro: Anong palaman ng tinapay mo?
Juan: Kiso!
Pedro: Kiso? Ano ka ba nakakahiya ka! Hindi yan kiso!
Chess yan.. CHESS!!
Nagdudula si Bert sa pulubing bulag kaya inihagis niya ang dalawang
pisong barya.
Bert: Nasalo mo pare, hindi ka bulag!
Pulubi: Tama ka brod, hindi ako bulag. Pumalit lang ako sa talagang
bulag dito.
Bert: Nasan ang tunay na bulag?
Pulubi: Nanood ng sine.
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I Hope you will invite me as your friend..mabuhay!
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| POSTED BY: MAYUMI on 03/21/2008 17:58:54 |
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MAGALING NA DAW....
Ine-examin nung Doktor yung isang pasyente sa Mental Hospital sa pamamagitan ng tanong at sagot. Tanong nung Doktor, "Kung ikaw ay palabasin ngayon sa ospital, ano ang iyong unang gagawin?" Sagot nung pasyente, "Titiradorin ko po ang buwan!" Wika nung Doktor, "Ikaw ay hindi pa pwedeng palabasin. E-examinin ulit kita sa paglipas ng anim na buwan."
Pagkaraan ng anim na buwan, muling inexamin nung Doktor yung pasyente.Tanong nung Doktor, "Kung ikaw ay palabasin ngayon sa ospital, ano ang iyong gagawin?" Sagot ng pasyente. "Doktor, ako'y magaling na. Pagkalabas ko po sa ospital, ako po ay hahanap ng trabaho upang mamuhay ng mag-isa." Muling nagtanong ang Doktor, "Pagnakahanap ka ng trabaho, ano ang iyong gagawin?" Sagot ng pasyente, "Doktor, ako po ay manliligaw ng isang mabait, masipag at magandang babaeng pwede kong makakapiling na pang habang buhay." Gulat ang Doktor! Mukhang
matino na ang kaniyang pasyente! Muli pang nagtanong ang Doktor, "Pagkatapos niyong makasal, ano ang iyong gagawin?" Sagot ng pasyente, "Aba, Doktor, kami po ay mag-hahanimun!" Bilib na naman ang Doktor.
Tanong ulit ng Doktor, "Ano ang iyong gagawin sa inyong hanimun?"
Sagot ng pasyente, "Doktor, huhubarin ko po ang blusa at palda ng aking bagong asawa.""Pagkatapos..." tanong ng Doktor. "Pagkatapos..." sabi ng pasyente, "huhubarin ko ang kaniyang bra at panty".
"Pagkatapos..." tanong ng Doktor. "Pagkatapos..." sabi ng pasyente, "kukunin ko lahat ng lastiko sa bra at panty at titiradorin ko ang buwan!"
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GreatPinoy Ako,Ikaw Tayong Lahat...
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| POSTED BY: gerry on 05/24/2008 12:02:52 |
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the first kiss
 t the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom BOTTOM.
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i AM bIcOlaNo GreAt pInoY
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| POSTED BY: aileen on 06/04/2008 17:34:10 |
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JOIN AKO! MAY KAIBIGAN DIN AKO NOH! ONE DAY NAG - USAP ANG MAG - ASAWA... LALAKI : ALAM MO NAHIHIWAGAAN SA 3 ANAK NATIN. PARANG HINDI KO SIALA &nb sp; KAMUKHA. YUNG PANGANAY NATIN KAMUKHA NG KAIBIGAN KONG SI &nb sp; JULIUS. UNG PNGALAWA SA FREND KONG SI ROY AT YUNG BUNSO... KAMUKHA NG KAIBIGAN KONG SI ORLY. IKAW MAHAL DI KA BA NAHIHIWAGAAN? BABAE : ( NAKASIMANGOT ) HOY! HOY! HOY! BAKIT...IKAW LANG BA ANG MAY KAIBIGANG LALAKI!
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mabuhay mga kabataang pangarap ni rizal!
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Guys,plz make sure to post in english.i can't get your posts in philipiano :( |
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Father, Mother And I
In the Philippines, most kids in private schools are forced to speak English at all times. A kid who just came from the province and who barely speaks the language tried his best to do so. One day the kid needed to go to the bathroom so bad that he didn't know what to tell his teacher. He raised his hand and said "guro, pwede bang pumunta nang banyo?" (meaning, teacher may I go to the bathroom?')
Since the boy didn't speak English the teacher pretended that she didn't hear him. The boy said to himself, "what should I say (in Filipino of course)". Then suddenly, the boy raised his hand and said, "FATHER, MOTHER, I" and quickly rushed out the door and to the bathroom.
The teacher wandered what the boy meant. 15 minutes later the boy came back. The teacher asked him where he went. He said that he went to the bathroom and he needed to go really bad. Then she asked what he meant when he said "FATHER, MOTHER, I".
The boy then explained, "FATHER in filipino meant TATA, MOTHER in filipino meant INA and I in filipino meant AKO"
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